The restaurant manager who speaks with poise and grace to the patron complaining loudly about the wait service. The levelheaded friend you call in your greatest times of need. The compassionate but composed rescue worker who aids victims after a natural catastrophe. The partner who angers rarely, forgives easily, and assumes accountability for their actions. The successful CEO who balances her profession, her family responsibilities, and her personal hobbies with equal measures of calm and confidence.
What do these people have in common?
In two words: Emotional Intelligence. A relatively new trend in the realm of pop culture and psychology today, Emotional Intelligence ¡ª or EQ ¡ª has existed since the beginning of time. According to Psychology Today, the preeminent site for mental health education and information, Emotional Intelligence is defined as an aptitude for identifying and managing emotions, and the emotions of others. It consists of three primary skills: the ability to analyze interior emotions and the feelings of those around them, the capacity to apply emotions to tasks, and the facility to take control of emotions ¡ª whether it¡¯s managing their own before they veer out of control, or having the strength and capability to make another person smile, settle down, or handle a situation appropriately.
Those with high Emotional ¡°IQs¡± have been proven to enjoy more prosperity in life. Whether they¡¯re in a social or professional environment, they thrive. Studies demonstrate they have fewer mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Their personal lives aren¡¯t train wrecks, precisely because they¡¯re lived from the point of thoughtful ¡ª and meaningful ¡ª decisions. They outperform others, excel at their jobs, are happy in their relationships, and consistently work towards attaining positive results in all aspects of life. So, the question is, what don¡¯t they do?
Here are 7 things emotionally intelligent people, as a rule, avoid:
1. They don¡¯t get caught up in other people¡¯s drama.
One of the hallmarks of Emotional Intelligence is empathy, and those with high EQs extend it to everyone they cross. But there¡¯s an enormous difference between displaying empathy towards a friend or loved one and allowing another person¡¯s rage or misery to incense, dominate, or merely influence one¡¯s well-being. Think of the histrionic behavior of your co-worker who is ¡°distraught¡± not because she¡¯s going through a break-up but because her friend is. Or that cousin of yours who, instead of focusing on her individual personal crises, purposefully seeks out people who are distressed so that her problems disappear via distraction ¡ª a habit so ingrained she can¡¯t seem to address her the complications in her own life.
Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, listen carefully, provide gentle, loving, but authoritative advice, and offer assistance. But they don¡¯t permit others¡¯ lives and reactions to rule their own.